Imperfectly Perfect

United Kingdom the Impromptu Trip

2012-01-13T17:32:00.000-08:00

Edinburgh is a beautiful city.

I forgot what building is this. :( But it's so pretty. Too bad I didn't get to revisit the castles.

Then, LINH CAME! haha. We went around Birmingham city centre, shopped for the necessities and she really did help my settling down in Birmingham easier. We went grocery shopping one night and had to carry what i thought was about 10kg of plastic bags back to where I live which is about 20-30mins of travelling time (including taking the train).

This is the view from Starbucks in Bullring, Birmingham.

We were chilling there, having a cuppa coffee and skyped wenxian! hah.

On the night Linh was supposed to leave, we went to this french pattisserie, Maison Mayci, on High Street (Harborne Road) in Birmingham. Their tarts are good, beautifully decorated too. About 2.60pounds for a palm-sized tart. This would cost about 8-9AUD in Adelaide.

Afterwards, when Linh was about to leave, I was looking at my timetable and wondering what will i do before going to Leeds in the afternoon as plan, suddenly i was wondering if i should go with linh! it was bout 6pm. Linh booked my ticket online and I packed in 5mins, left the hostel by 6.20pm, rushed to the train station (thank God no one was selling/checking ticket through the whole train journey which save us some time AND money), we dragged our hand luggage and ran to the coach station! 10mins to 7pm! We were 10mins early! SO! i'm In LEEDS NOW.

This was by far the most impromptu interstate trip decision i've made. It is fun, hilarious and exciting. I know it's a God-given opportunity for me to experience. I will look back at these memories one day and will be glad that i did it. I do this now, its called adventurous. If i do this in 10 years time, i'll most probably be called irresponsible.

So, this is only a small part of Leeds!

This is a nice city that I like. the Britz say this is a small city, i think they should visit Adelaide before defining what small means. :D alright, i still like Adelaide ok, just in a different way.

OH YEA! I went to Jamie's Italian (by Jamie Oliver) too! The food is good, but it's not "WOW" good. It's worth trying, because you know, it's Jamie Oliver. ;)

<3,
pRis

Hi 2012. Hi Birmingham.

2012-01-05T21:52:00.000-08:00

I haven't blog in a long while. Anyway, Happy New Year! Greetings to all of you from Birmingham.
*This is just a record of what happened on my first day in Birmingham, it may be a lil boring for you*

I had such a long day yesterday. I traveled for about 22 hours to reach Birmingham. The landing to Birmingham wasn't like anything I was imagining: gracefully touch down and looking at the city with full of emotions. NO. The weather wasn't great, so it was so bumpy. It was like a roller coaster ride for at least 15mins. Kids were screaming and crying. I was looking at the downward camera of the plane. The sum of everything led to nausea. Got off the plane feeling sick.
After quite a long wait at the immigration, waited for almost an hour for my luggage. But thank God both my luggages arrive safely.

When i reached the reception of my hostel. i was dead tired. but the receptionist suggested that i should get my ID card from the uni. after much hassle and walk a path that i think is longer than needed, i reached uni. but the person said i have not completed my registration. so i couldnt get my card then. have to go back on Monday. Me, having no sense of direction, tried my luck to get back to uni from another way that i came from. But luckily i found my way back and there were quite a few pedestrian that i asked to just make sure i was in the right direction. I rushed back before 5pm to get my duvet set and internet cable for my room, only to know that reception is 24 hours.

Afterwards, i rushed off to High Street thinking to get my sim card. On my way out, i opened a fire door, thinking that i can use it as short cut, but i set off the alarm. so i had to run all the way to reception and ask for help again. the guy, Amirk (who is kind enough to help me carry one of my luggage to my room) shook his head. I was so embarrassed.

So, as i set off to get my sim card, thinking i must get it then, broke my heart when the stupid phone shop do not have micro sim. :S What kind of phone shop is that!?! he said i need to get to City Centre to get it done. Which i still have no idea where it is. Argh. with much disappointment, i went to get some things from this shop called Home Bargain. and then went to Marks and Spencer to get myself an apple pie and some ham. The living cost here is quite okay. I get the pie for 89p. I couldnt have bought a pie at this price in Aus.

So, using my almost-non-existent sense of direction, i manage to get home in one piece. My new neighbour who offered some help earlier gave me a sim card that she got in her welcome pack, after i told her i couldnt get a sim from High Street. I was so thankful. Thank you God for giving me a good neighbour/toilet mate (we share the same toilet).

So after a long day, i showered (the water was not HOT! i almost froze when i first showered until the water warm up towards the end of my shower), fixed the internet, put the sim in my phone, pack for today, and went to bed. Even though i woke up at 11+pm, 1am, 2am and finally wakes at 4am, I feel well rested.

Thank you God for everything, and my safe arrival. Now, I'm setting off to Edinburgh for 3days! Can't wait to see some family. Hope it'll cure my homesickness a little.

Cheers,
Pris

C'est le vie

2011-11-19T07:41:00.001-08:00

People come and go in your life.
Some are around you but you don't see them often.
Some are far away from you but you keep each other updated.
Some who are not catching up regularly but still close to your heart.
Some who are going away and you wish they stay.
Some who you have a love-hate relationship with.
Some you know you want them but still push them away.
Some left your life due to miscommunication.
And some loves you no matter what you do and where you are.

C'est le vie!

PERFECT

2011-11-16T04:34:00.000-08:00

God is indeed perfect. Once again, I've experience his grace and mercy. I'm so glad I waited.

It was last week, during my exams, I wanted to book my airticket to Melbourne to have biometric scan appointment (just one of the things you have to do to apply for student visa, and Adelaide doesn't have British Embassy, sad i know). Anyway, I was told to wait until Friday before making any decision. I prayed to God, if you were to send me the acceptance letter of University by Friday, I'll book the airticket immediately to Melbourne, if not, I really didnt know what to do.

Friday (11th Nov) came, alas the acceptance didn't. I had property exam the next day, so I didnt think much. I was worried about it, but I thought to myself, worse come to worse, I'll just have to stay in Australia for a longer period of time, less time in Malaysia and a possibility of no family holiday end of the year (my mum said she'll leave me at home while all of them go on holiday). So, I decided to finish my exam before doing anything. At the thought of me not able to go home for a long time, mum offered to call the British Embassy in Malaysia. Since she was busy, she only did it on Monday and told me about it on Tuesday, after my exam.

She told me I can not apply for a visa. I was skeptical. HOW can you NOT have a STUDENT VISA when you are going to study there???!!! my friend who went needed one (Vietnam passport holder), and it did not occur to me that I REALLY DIDNT have to. I called the embassy today (16th Nov 2011, Wednesday) and confirmed I really don't need a student visitor visa to go to the UK because I'm a Malaysian passport holder. I was thrilled. ECSTATIC. because, that means I can fly home very sooon instead of being stranded in Aus indefinitely until i get my visa done.

So afterwards, I just continue doing things and went out to the beach and have a good time with three other friends. When I came home, i felt the urge to check my student email. and guess what's next? I SAW ADELAIDE ABROAD SENT ME AN EMAIL REGARDING BIRMINGHAM ACCEPTANCE. *GASP* I clicked open and I've been accepted! even though i know I probably get the acceptance, but the wait kind of make the you feel incomplete and have some reserve. But now! It's here!! I can't stop smiling.

I really thank God for his perfect timing. IF i've gotten my acceptance last week, I wouldn't have called the embassy or my mum wouldn't have called the embassy to find out I don't actually need the student visitor visa. and I would have waste quite a large sum of money by going there and have to wait for another (at least) two weeks before getting my passport back for the visa application to be completed. I thank God for his PERFECT TIMING. The timing is too perfect. and only God can do it. If i had let my impatience get into the way and booked my ticket, only to find out i didnt have to spend that sum of money, i'll be cursing myself for being such a fool.

And so, i've got most things done. I need to apply for accommodation and run some bank errands. and that's it! I'M ON MY WAY TO UK. Thank you Jesus. Thank you everyone who have been praying for me and praying alongside with me.I really appreciate that and I know God does hear your prayers for me. :)

God is ever faithful.

Signing off,
Pris.

F.R.I.E.N.D.

2011-10-29T01:14:00.000-07:00

What kind of friend i am? I feel so irritate with myself for expecting things from people around me. I need to learn how to stop expecting. stop justifying what i do is right. It might be right in my point of view, but others might not see eye in eye with me. I just wish I can be more "flexible" in the sense that i dont rigid things to go only one way. It's for sure tiring when i try to accommodate the reaction of the rest in one event. and frustrating at times too. I'm not even talking about deep stuff like our point of views in life, its just friends keeping the promise they make, like sticking to a dinner plan, or not being half an hour late. SIGH.

I remember a friend once told me he didn't want to reach to a point where he stop expecting others. I vaguely remember that particular conversation, but yea, i can feel what he felt right now. Mind you, this is not the first time. I've been agitated by this recurring feeling almost my whole life. so i don't think it's the people around me, it's me who needs to change, and not expect. Or perhaps, i haven't been close to this kind of people. I guess i need to be one in order to meet one.

I know i'm not the most punctual or the most reliable person on earth, but i know when i need to. i hope i havent make some of you feel this way. If i do, i'm truly sorry. I'll try my best to be good from now. If i'm not showing up, i'll tell you.

NTS: patience patience patience.. i'm imperfect myself, thank you for everyone who still loves me. thank you God for loving me.

Frustration over Emotion

2011-09-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

I seriously dislike myself being so overpowered by my emotions.
I feel weak-and-needy.

iwannarunaway.mayberunintoyourarms.

God, please help me. :(

Ugh

2011-09-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

I'm under stress/panic attack.
CRAP.
I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACKK.
more like
I do not want to face the PILED UP WORK.
kill me already.

Bye home sweet home,
i will definitely miss u. :(

its time like these that i question is such education really necessary?
YES IT IS.

kthxbye.

When you grow weary, you stop, you reflect, you wish...

2011-08-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

When life is moving at the speed of light, there's so much i want to achieve, so much i want to try.

But sometimes, a hug, a shoulder or just a cuddle will make my day.

Of course, massage will definitely be a good option. :)

cheers,

pris

WICKED - the musical

2011-05-02T05:09:00.000-07:00

I better jot down this awesome experience before I move on. I want to remember this experience for life! (or i'm just doing this because i'm procrastinating from doing my take-home exam. XP)

let's not talk about something as bore as Contracts Take Home Exam which is due tomorrow. let's talk about WICKED!

WICKED!

Musicals and I never cross path when I was young, if you leave out Marry Poppins, Sister Acts... okay, but that's all on tv! This is my first (as far as i remember, i might have watch one or two unknowns) musical ever! see, i'm a rather a classics-deprived kid when i was younger. It just wasnt in my school culture to know about Dorothy. but ever since i take up literature, I enjoyed them much.

Let me not sway too far away and get back to Wicked, i've enjoyed it so much. It was so so so so so AMAZING! A big thank you note to Cheryl who initiated the urge to watch it in Sydney last year and Suet! for telling me all about it, hence, leading me to buy a A$116 ticket. let me tell you, it's worth EVERY-SINGLE-PENNY! okay, maybe we use cent here, but u get what i mean. :)

There's so many scenes that I love, the part where Elphaba met Gah-linda, when they became roommate- the song they sung (What Is This Feeling) was full of humor;and then how Glinda be-friended with Elphaba and giving Elphaba a makeover, "Popular"; and the part where Elphaba figure she was in love with Fiyero, "I'm Not That Girl"; Elphaba's conversation with Doctor Dillamond (the goat professor), "Something Bad"; n oh! Elphaba and Glinda's parting scene of course! "Defying Gravity" and so much more. I love every single detail of this musical. Their dances was good as well. They have fast pace couple dance. Where the choreography was fun and lively...

This musical is full of emotion, sense of humour, moral values, good looking casts (Fiyero was quite cute! and even the flying monkey (after taking off his mask) was so good looking!; and Elphaba, you can see her beautiful face even though she dint have extra glamorous costumes and green appearance, she still look so great.)

I listened to the songs a few months before i watch this musical BUT the songs speak so differently after the musical, it's like every word have a deeper meaning in it. :)

Alright, I shall end this post with one of my favourite scene and song, the song just before intermission, where they ended the first half perfectly with Elphaba leaving on a broom:

Defying Gravity:

GLINDA
(spoken) Elphaba - why couldn't you have stayed calm for
once, instead of flying off the handle!
(sung) I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever!

ELPHABA
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy, too
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition

BOTH
So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now

GLINDA
(spoken) Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry:
(sung) You can still be with the Wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted:

ELPHABA
(spoken) I know:
(sung) But I don't want it -
No - I can't want it
Anymore:

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

GLINDA
Can't I make you understand?
You're having delusions of grandeur:

ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down:
(spoken) Glinda - come with me. Think of what we could
do: together.

(sung) Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been

Glinda -
Dreams, the way we planned 'em

GLINDA
If we work in tandem:

BOTH
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I
Defying gravity
With you and I
Defying gravity

ELPHABA
They'll never bring us down!
(spoken) Well? Are you coming?

GLINDA
I hope you're happy
Now that you're choosing this

ELPHABA
(spoken) You too
(sung) I hope it brings you bliss

BOTH
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy, my friend:

ELPHABA So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!

GLINDA
I hope you're happy!

CITIZENS OF OZ
Look at her, she's wicked!
Get her!

ELPHABA
:Bring me down!

CITIZENS OF OZ
No one mourns the wicked
So we've got to bring her

ELPHABA
Ahhh!

CITIZENS OF OZ
Down!

<3 wicked,

-pris

Hidden

2011-04-25T21:25:00.000-07:00

There's this struggle in me
that i don't know how to express;
there's this feeling in me
that i don't know how to surpress.

What have i done or not done?
What is the right choice?
or is there none?

Afraid of the results,
stepping back with a celerity.
Will you be taken aback
when you are cognizant of who i really am?

It's the season of uncertainty,
hovering with anciety.

pris

Remain

2011-04-24T20:52:00.000-07:00

When there's pain in our hearts
It's so easy to forget
All the things that You've done
All the things that You've said

There's a promise You've made
That You're with me through the night
Having You is worth all the heardest fights

(so) i'll remain in Your love
I want and need no other
(cause) You're my friend, You're my Lord
Through You i have the Father
You're the vine, i'm the branch
Through You all things grow
In Your love, i'll remain.

Greater love has no one
Than to die for a friend
And You did this for me
With a love that never ends

You have taken my sins
When You died on that day
And now i will choose no other way

(so) i'll remain in Your love

I want and need no other

(cause) You're my friend, You're my Lord

Through You i have the Father

You're the vine, i'm the branch

Through You all things grow

In Your love, i'll remain.

Apart from You there's nothing we can do

All the fruits we bear, all the blessings is from You

Show me Your love, and show me how to love

To glorify the Risen King above

(so) i'll remain in Your love

I want and need no other

(cause) You're my friend, You're my Lord

Through You i have the Father

You're the vine, i'm the branch

Through You all things grow

In Your love, i'll remain.

by Joseph Yuen

Sated

2011-04-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

it's time to get on with working towards the resolutions.

pris

Clinging on

2011-04-10T03:14:00.000-07:00

As much as I would love to meet new people and encounter new experiences,
a part of me doesn't want to let go of the past,
doesn't want to move on,
and clinging on ...
to the memories that people have given me.
The same memories that will continue ...
Alas, individuals have different interests.

Time to learn how to move on.

pris

maybe

2010-12-06T08:11:00.000-08:00

i'm asking too much.

maybe,

i dont deserve them all.

maybe,

it'll be over for good.

maybe,

just maybe.

2010-11-14T06:53:00.000-08:00

i was determine,
i was so sure.
but the tone and the face,
melts it all away.
enlighten me if it's Your way.

<3,
-pRiS-

God is Good

2010-11-10T19:36:00.000-08:00

all the time.

Yesterday (10/11/2010), was the most dramatic experience in my life.
Subconsciously I've had this thought that how can people be late for exam. if you know me I'm one who takes exam seriously. and yesterday, i snapped up at 10 past only to realised that I was late for my paper (which started at 9.20am).
I'm so ashamed of myself but I'm going to tell the whole world this experience because I wanna share with you God's SOVEREIGNTY.

As I jumped out of bed, I quickly changed and ran out of the apartment, I tried calling for a cab but it took ages to reach the operator and when he finally came to the line he said i had to wait for 5-15mins for the cab to arrive. I had no time to lose. so i decided to run all the way to Hilton to catch a cab there as it'll be faster. However, when i was at the cross junction, there was a cab waiting for the traffic light. I went into the cab in the middle of the road (not to mention, it's in front of the magistrate court, and there was a police car in front of it). Nvm the trivial law breaking. anyway, when I reached the exam hall it was 10.35. I was an hour late for my exam!

The invigilator did not let me in because she said students are allowed to go out of the exam hall after half and hour. She said i needed to see my lecturer. I was DEVASTATED. I knew i could do nothing more besides praying and praying and praying. I did ask God why and debated with myself. but in the end i made a mental note that, in the long run, even though we might not understand what we went through, I'm sure God has His perfect plan. and something Aunty Merilyn said came into my mind: "if you break the law of gravity, you take the consequences". so it's me that break the rule, so i have to bear with the consequences.

So, I walked to the bus stop with all the worse feeling ever in my heart. I felt so burden, so mad at myself, so devastated. the bus stop is not very near but not that far from the entrance of the exam hall. but normally if the bus is already at the bus stop when u step out of the entrance of the exam hall, you wouldn't be able to make it. So that's wat i thought. i was expecting to wait for the next bus. HOWEVER, the bus was still there when i reach the bus stop. The bus driver was reading a book. I din't have the mood to think about my surroundings at that time. so what i wanted to do was just to go and look for my lecturer and hopefully sort this thing out. I thought that, in the worse case, i just have to retake the subject next sem.

I reached uni about 11+am. i went to the front office of the professions building for the lecturer. I thought it was the old man who did the lecturing, however i found out it's not him, it's another lady that's the course coordinator. The front office lady told me she might not be in today. but i thought, what could go worse already. So i just gave it a try. God is good. She was there. When i went in, i couldnt take it anymore and broke into tears. She was upset for me. She asked me what was the reason i was late and hinted me that it should be a compassionate or medical reason for me to take a supplementary paper. however, i didn't make up any story, and i just told her nothing but the truth.

So, i'm not eligible for supplementary paper. she thought for awhile, got up and went out of the office, probably ask a few people. then she so kindly decided that she'll let me do my exam there!! She look at the time and decided since the exam is not finished yet when i see her, so she ask me if i've seen anyone who came out of the exam early. and i answer in negative. then, she allowed me to take the exam. She trusted me that she din't even be there when i do my exam paper. she just put me in a room, and asked me to submit the paper in a sealed envelope to her "letter box" in the building itself. and she went off for a meeting. She gave me 10 minutes before for me to calm myself down and clear my mind, before the exam started.

I was so grateful. although there's a few question that i wish i had longer time to deal with, i kept to the time. I was grateful enough and din't want to do anything wrong. and so, there concluded my exam. If not for the course coordinator gracious allowance, I would have failed the course and have to retake it.

I called my mum while i was trying to catch a cab. My mum later told me she was so worried that she tried to call my dad and for half an hour she can't reach him because he was in Bali having a meeting. She then called her cell leader and prayed for me. She said she couldn't do anything but just praying.

I thank God that He had bless me and show me His sovereignty and how he showed me the way of Depending on Him totally. That was the time i know i am unable to do anything to help the situation and He showed me the miracle. He blew my mind away. it's no way that i'll believe in uni u made such mistake and still be able to save it urself. That's why i don't believe karma does everything. I believe it's God's grace. if it's karma alone, I would failed the entire course already.

Thank you Jesus for bringing me through the day. Despite my human weakness, You showed me your perfect timing and perfect grace. I did nothing to deserve all this, but by God's grace i'm saved. Amen.

<3,
God's daughter,
-pRiS-

p/s: God answers prayer. DEFINITELY.
p/s/s: u can imagine my panic/nervous/devastation from the entry.

2010-11-08T02:01:00.000-08:00

there's so many things in me that i'm not aware of,
so much discovery.
are those changes or have they been hidden within?
fine line that's hard to draw.

NTS: i must i MUST not leave the whole sem's work until before exam. a lesson to learn.

-pRiS-

choc

2010-10-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

if only all i need to focus is one thing.
but things wouldn't always go the way u wish it would.
that's where the challenges come in.
i need to stay positive.
chocolate.
:)

p/s: choc dint hyped me up. it calmed frustrations. amazing.

<3,
-pRiS-

Eclipse

2010-09-14T06:26:00.000-07:00

if only imprint happens among human,
we wouldn't halt in between.
it will be a fairy tale,
living within.

<3

p.s: content above does not necessarily represent my point of view.
p.s.s: image taken from tumblr.

2010-09-05T07:19:00.000-07:00

I feel like crying.
Everything seems grey.

DISCLAIMER: this entry is for no particular reason, may be caused by the neverending pile of work, dont exercise ur imagination too much. facebook/twitter too public.

53 years of Independence

2010-08-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

Having the chance to come overseas doesn't just give me a "better" education,
it widen my perspectives as well.
Like my friend said, as cliche as it may sound, there's no place like home.
The political unrest, the racism and the inequality may cause many hatred or disputes to arise,

but we cannot deny the fact that we are all Malaysian.

We do not belong to China, India/Sri Lanka or Jakarta although our ancestors may come from these places,

but we are born in this place.

We are born in Malaysia for a reason, for a purpose.

I'll not make any difference by just criticising how corrupted our government is, and stay away from them.

I hope there's something/ some place where God place me to serve my country.

May it be small or big.

This will be my prayer for this year's Independence Day,

that our fellow Malaysians, will have the urge to take some actions to make a difference.

Let's strive for a better future!

Kita anak-anak Malaysia.

I'm proud to be a MALAYSIAN.

p/s: i know i'm influenced by my politically-interest friends for a reason. =)
p/s/s: this year's independence day brings me to a whole new level of being patriotic, it's not just another holiday/ reason to have fun anymore.
p/s/s/s: this post sounded more patriotic than it meant to be. haha.

<3,

-pRiS-

PTL

2010-08-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

there's every reason to celebrate,
if only we look deep enough.

<3
-pRiS-

I want so much

2010-08-14T09:28:00.000-07:00

yet I dont know what I really want.

risk

2010-08-11T09:34:00.000-07:00

If there's no risk, there's no faith.

<3,
-pRiS-

Who are you living for?

2010-06-26T21:21:00.000-07:00

Not living for yourself,

but for others.

i think maybe that's where I should be heading towards.

<3,

-pRiS-

p.s: being said that doesn't mean cutting off one's confident nor trying to please everyone.

p.s.s: of course, the basis must be Christ to enable this to work.

Sometimes

2010-05-30T09:09:00.000-07:00

if you are here,
maybe, just maybe everything will be simpler.

it's complicated.

-pRiS-

One step closer

2010-05-24T22:36:00.000-07:00

There were times
where I don't know where I'm heading to.
There will still be times
where i'll be lost
in my thoughts or dreams,
but whatever they are, wherever I am, & whenever it'll be,
I know,
I'm one step closer,
one step closer to where I'll go through & go past,
and one step closer to where I'm going to be.

<3,
-pRiS-

Rocky Grounds

2010-05-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

Frustration, anger, bitterness, disappointment.
all of them which are dark sides of a process of learning & growing.
a process of growing up and growing old?
learning is a never-ending journey i believe.
is there where i'm going?
I just hope u'll accept me as who i am as a whole,
even the darkest side in me,
which nobody knows except God.

Glad, Blessings, Grace & Agape love,
is really what I should be counting on.

p/s: how is faith suppose to work?

<3,
-pRiS-

Bonding Buddies

2010-04-22T18:04:00.000-07:00

to these two people that are dear to my heart,
you really left me speechless with tears of joy, which didn't surface.
i never would've expected this BELATED birthday celebration.
i'm so touch and felt (still feels) so loved by you two.
awww.
it's just one year ago that we found each other.
Both of you are like the brother and sister that care for me.
I could ask no more of it, how God has blessed me,
by just placing both of you in my life.
Like the sister always says,
WITH MUCH LOVE THAN THE WORLD,
i love you two!
the two Wongs that coloured part of my life,
and i praise God for this!

<3,
-pRiS-

p/s: i never had so much laugh during EARLY breakfast! =)

Made for Eternity. (Ecamp '10)

2010-04-13T03:05:00.000-07:00

This is amazing. it's beyond description. This camp is definitely one of the most significant that marks my life. There are so much to share. (come and look for me n i'll tell you as much as i can). Anyway, I'll just make a few more significant ones here just for my own reminder.

1.Faith -
This is the first time in my life, that I do things purely out of faith. I wasn't given a choice to depend on my own strength. I realised the faith that I used to have was soooo sooo little. In this camp, I serve in bible study group assisting and my group leader (Arthur) happened to be a part timer since he is working. Basically, this means that I've to lead 2 devotions and 1 bible study. Fear was all I felt when I found out. However, God placed the right people in my life to encourage me and assist me to give me confidence. Most importantly, I knew I had to let it go, to allow God to take over. After the 2nd day of the camp, i felt more confident. The confidence that's in me was weak. Although there's trust that God will bring me through, there's a little doubt, n I know, if i slipped my perseverance, this little doubt will just shatter my whole confidence that God has put in me. n I know, this doubt is not from God.
This precious feeling of faith, I can still feel it in my heart. This is beyond description. I cannot put it into words, only those who experienced it will understand.

2. Joy
In the camp, I experienced JOY. It's not mere happiness, not just fun, but PURELY JOY, happiness that comes from my heart and bring the smile on my face. This joy is something that I know I can't experience by just doing the fun things and the things i like in everyday life. This joy can only be granted through Christ alone.I guess this joy comes with peace too. =)
This joy, is also beyond what I can explain.

3.Miracle
I've always seen people bringing people to Christ. I've always thought it as they're only good testimony and good encouragement. However, it's a completely different story when the people in your life start questioning you about this LOVE, this thing that's so DIFFERENT in your life and start wanting to know more. I'm really in awe that how God has put things in His timing, and how He has planned it. When one lost son is found, the angles in heaven will rejoice and celebrate.
Again, I can't find the right words to portray what I've in my heart. If you really want to know, you can always talk to me. =D

4. Encouragement
I always feel happy when I get to encourage people in my life. I know how and what encouragement can do. In this camp, I was really encouraged by the people that God has placed beside to assist me and to love me. The love of God through this people really give me encouragement to walk on with faith. Me too figure that encouragement is a two-way system. When the things I did encouraged people, I feel encouraged as well.
It never dawn on me that this is a two way thing.

5. People
I know these people that God put in my life are for a purpose and these many brothers and sisters in Christ will last for eternity.

6.Let Go.
of the past. Still in the process I guess.

7.ETERNITY.
The lessons learn in the sermons, bs & workshops. Too much to talk about here. Maybe i might post it another time.

I discover that there are so many things that I've experienced in this camp is so supernatural that I can't put them into words. No one can understand until they get the touch from God Himself. I know He is real. How he has blessed me and I'll be firm that He'll continue to bless me.
Amen.

p/s: talk to me ASAP, if you want to know more vividly how God has touched me through this camp.

with much <3,
-pRiS-

O you of little faith..

2010-04-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

O you of little faith.
If you've taken an extra step,
one more may be saved.
If selfishness did not take over,
there will be one more in the family.
If succumbed not to cowardness,
there'll be one more to spread the Good news.

Change the heart,
change the heart of little faith,
for faith not in us,
but you Almighty.

Thank you for dying on the cross,
so that I may be saved.
Let those who not see eternity
look beyond what the world has to offer.
Let those who are finding love,
find this true love which never fails.
Let the emptiness of hearts
not to fill with temporary fun & happiness,
but with the eternal joy which we can still have when we're going through tough times.

We can only have this through you.
Decrease me,
for me will not reflect all the above.
Change me,
so that I'll shine for you.
Amen.

<3,
-pRiS-

synchronous

2010-03-28T05:15:00.000-07:00

I doubt,
where should I go?
Am i heading the right way?
Let go,
of what I asked?
Love
enough to carry through?
I want to fly,
soaring in the sky.
Concurrently
I want to hide & be invisible.
Its too much of a contradiction.
What is meant to be?
I love now,
also
looking for a future,
that You've planned,
perfectly for me.

<3
-pRiS-

Ah, corrupt!

2010-03-15T03:49:00.000-07:00

The anger I never knew existed,
exploded in front of screen.
I thought I didn't give a damn about it,
well, obviously I did.
I knew it all too well,
probably that's the reason i quit.
Now it dawn onto me,
that all these are s***.
I care too much to quit,
so, that's the least of my deed.

To the place I still love,
-pRiS-

p/s: please dont mind me of the rude content.

true,not?

2010-03-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

" ... and the tear that has been fighting finally gave up and twinkled down the edge of my eyes. Suddenly I felt exposed. I felt naked. Something that I've been hiding, or, I didn't even know its existence has unfold itself.

I didn't need a change of impression. I want me to be me. and you, who stands at the corner, was rooted to ground, holding your breath and distrusting your eyes...

This, is the last reason that I want you ...

to fall for me ... "

p/s: fiction.

<3
-pRiS-

puzzle

2010-03-09T22:46:00.000-08:00

In the picture,
there's some incomplete pieces,
& yes,
i'm going to search for the missing bits.

<3
-pRiS-

ah,

2010-03-08T05:43:00.000-08:00

It's time for uni,
so much to explore,
so many commitments,
a whole chunk of information thrown upon the face,
trying to breathe & absorb,
breathe in, breathe out,
help me Daddy,
prioritize,
overwhelming.
pfft~

<3
-pRiS-

Moment of life.

2010-01-07T21:03:00.000-08:00

at the edge of tears,
wanting to cry it out,
not because of sadness,
but everything just went too well.

I'm grateful?
Yes, I am.
Greed is taking a toll here too,
Wanting for more.

Knowing that these moments wouldnt last forever,
I'll just keep it within
and run-away for now.

<3
-pRiS-

a four letter word.

2010-01-07T08:47:00.000-08:00

Thanks for loving me when i'm on my worst behaviour.

<3
-pRiS-

Bye 2009, Hello 2010

2009-12-31T02:41:00.000-08:00

There were so many thoughts that I wanted to put it down. But sadly, when i finally get the time and the line for me to blog, i couldnt remember a single thing. I should jot it down next time. Well, I should've done it all the while.

2009 has come to an end. So quickly, so unknowingly.
This year, like I've mentioned, is definitely one of my BEST years.
Probably the changing phase that I was and am in.
The freedom and trust that I was granted.
The friends that I am blessed with.
The people that I've encountered.
I've learnt much, thought much, and been through much.
The growth is obvious, including physically of course.
I thank God for what He has blessed me with,
and still believing and trusting Him.
Amen!

I'm looking forward to 2010 as much as I want to hold on to 2009. University which once seemed so far away from me, has finally come into reality. Yes, I'm going to university already. I'm keeping my finger cross and hope for a greater year. And of course to experience more growth (EXCEPT THE PHYSICAL ONE PLEASE).

Being in the fantasy,
treated like a royalty,
It's like locking up the reality.
Looking out from where u are,
count your blessings!
Many who doesnt have one hundredth or even thounsandth of what you have,
and I'm not exaggerating.
yes, indeed
giving is only easy til a certain extend,
and there's plenty to learn.
Little can you give means much to them.

Being in Laos and Cambodia again, made me see how much those ppl need help once more. I always tend to forget how blessed am I and wanting more. Hope they will come to know Christ one day.

ps: HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY FRIENDS.
pss: I miss Adelaide, and of coz my Adelaide peeps. Adelaide wouldnt be the same without you people.
psss: Bye 2009. Hello 2010.

<3,
-pRiS-

Is this that?

2009-12-21T05:12:00.000-08:00

There was once a prophesied,
It's this what it is?
When our thoughts differ.
I shall follow the plan.
For He knows what's the best.
_________________________

Praise God for the results that He has given me. Without His strength, this is not possible. Thank God for His grace. n of course, the brothers and sisters in Christ who have been praying for me. I'm truly touched n grateful. =)

<3
-pRiS-

yes, no?

2009-12-04T01:19:00.000-08:00

Til now i still dont have a decent photo of all of us.

Three papers down, two more to go. math was serious disappointment. hope the rest is okay. *keeping my finger cross and praying hard* Thanks peeps for praying for me. so many emotion & prayer supports. <3 Thank God for that! =)
It's December once more. so quickly. it's time to bid farewell? well, this year is definitely an unforgetable n productive one. One that I can look back n smile. okay, I shouldnt write the end-of-the-year-reflecting-speech, just yet.

p/s: i lost my sunnies. =( i'm missing it. ='( hope i still can find it after it disappeared for two weeks? sob.

<3
-pRiS-

He is love.

2009-11-24T04:40:00.000-08:00

God is responsible for everything He allows.

Choosing the right path when diverging roads come, determines what you are going to gain or lose.

If you stick around long enough, having faith, surely things will turn around, and when you finally throw light as to why things happened, you'll manage a smile from the bottom of your heart.

It's always Happy Ending.

=)

p/s: I'm still digesting part of this sermon by Sy Rogers. not quite fully comprehending.

-pRiS-

All in Thy's hand.

2009-10-29T06:30:00.000-07:00

Fascinated, Delighted, Amazed
When it all dawn on me at once,
My perception is again awaken.
Everything happens for a purpose
especially in Thee's timing.
_______________________________________________

I'm in awe on how negligible and little pieces of events that I dont seem to understand why I'd encounter that particular moment become clear. I always believe that everything happens for a purpose. and in fact it does. =)

Last friday I have this peculiar acquaintance who traumatized me (for more info, ask me personally). I didn't know how will it affect me or affect that person at that moment. I thought its just God showed me how my friends cared for me, how our bonding getting stronger and stronger. But it did not just end there. I've been able to use it as a material to talk about in my assignment. I dont know precisely how n when it'll affect the people that I've told or the people that my friends tell them; even more, how our short conversation transform this acquaintance life. It's amazing how this little incident is going to affect many people. Through me nothing is possible, but I believe God arrange in this particular way that events happen is always for a purpose. Maybe we wouldn't see the results or the blooming of flowers now, but I believe one day, it'll come in handy.

Another instance. I saw a fight today on street. I dont know how should I react. Call the police? walk up to talk to them? But at this crucial time, I chose to walk away. I took the other route to avoid passing them by. I choose the selfish way. I don't know how it ended, hopefully no one got hurt. Though I did not help them, This incident kept playing in my head. It made me think. Especially just 1 or 2 weeks before, my psychology class required us to do an experiment on social behaviour. My psyc teacher mention about some example on people fighting and there is nobody there to help. So I guess today's experience came in handy. =P

It's fascinating isn't it? I still remember when I was younger I always get thrilled over what I've learn and be able to apply into real life. I still do now. and its good to be once reminded that God put every situation in our lives for a purpose. And that's how we are mould into who we are today.

Not comprehending, not having the slightest clue why we are going through tough times? So that you'll adequate for something bigger & greater. We'll be content with what we have every moment. And when the moment u comprehend why such things had happened, u'll be glad. More than glad.

hold on, there's always a better tomorrow. =)

-pRiS-

I care

2009-10-26T04:26:00.000-07:00

Thoughts are like streams rushing and gushing into the ocean Leaving no space to breathe
Succumbing to the pressure exert
Drowning into unconciousness.

A flip, A push or A struggle,
Just a tiny action;
Brought surface back into picture
The effulgent sun never seems so shimmering,
The belligerent wind never seems so refreshing.

Your inquiries brought me into doubt
I seek, I search and I found.
Chances did not allow me to speak
Fast enough for you to understand, to apprehend and to perceive.
And now,
You brought chagrin into the picture.

A flip, A push or A struggle,
Just a tiny act for you to persevere
On what you believe and trust.
But now,
You've turn it all around.

I hope, I wish and I pray
that its all just a fallacious breeze.
___________________________________________

It has been quite some time since I blog let alone attempt a poem. I dont really think its a poem. but still hope its not too bad. Just need to shrug off my thoughts and get back to work. EXAM less than 6 WEEKS. ugh. better go now.

ps: i butt into ur business its just simply bcoz i care n i love all of u.

<3
-pRiS-

love.emptiness.best friend?

2009-10-13T08:06:00.000-07:00

Am currently doing psyc research on interpersonal relationship. it brought me thinking why are people searching for love/courship and feel despair when we decided to give up on it. Do we not have the same foundation for us to stay together? I wonder. anyway, the post below was posted at my xanga blog few days ago, when i dint have courage to post it up here. now that i post because it occured to me that if i'm ashame of what i believe, will i be me in front of others? so yeah, there u go.

"
What do you think the difference about Christians, Sunday Christians and Non-Christians?

Observations taught me that nowadays, many people have this emptiness in their hearts. Yes, we might have many things, yet, something within us is missing. Searching, longing and failing to find this missing piece of our life, i guess, many doesnt know, that the love of God, the presence of God is what fills that emptiness.

Personally, i find myself swaying between true christian and sunday christian/friday ocfer category. I guess thats y, sometimes i felt there's something missing in me, even i'm very happy about something or has achieved something. Then, i'll question myself : "So what now?". The happy, excited or proud moments will eventually come to an end, and become our memories. It is impossible for us to keep the present forever. We couldn't live in our memories, time will move on even without our consent. Whereas, if Jesus is in the picture, we know that it's Him who died for us so that we may live, n have a chance of looking towards eternity. It's Jesus, who took up our cross, our sins, n use his blood to wash away the impurities in us, so that we may be forgiven.

"For God so love the world that he gave his only beloved son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal live." John 3:16

Jesus is the one that will heal our hurts, n fill the emptiness. He will never fail us, even when we are in our deepest darkness. This is what the Lord has promised.

"Even if I go through the deepest darkness, I will not be afraid, Lord, for you are with me. Your shepherd's rod and staff protect me." Psalm 23:4

Me, as a friend to many, i still have a high chance of failing to help out, for i'm still far from perfect. But Jesus is the one best friend that you will never need to be afraid that He'll fail us, for He will always be there.

"And I will be with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20b "

He hold our hands to walk through the toughest timeS.

<3
-pRiS-

<3

2009-10-08T23:20:00.000-07:00

We may have different past,
diverging futures,
but the memories we create will belong to us
and us only.

=)
<3
-pRiS-

PMS

2009-10-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

i hate it when it comes to this time of the month.
having mood swings isn't particularly what i need now.
i'd finished the twilight series. The story lines is what i love so much.
I was akin to living in fantasy when i'm in the story.
it felt good. yet i know it's not real.
i sort of felt an emptiness like how things i'm after come to an end.
another reason to further these swings of my mood.
i've to keep in mind that all these are fiction,
no matter how surreal it seemed.
ah, Edward n Bella,
happily ever after.

ps: sorry if my mood affected urs too. i'm really having a hard time dealing with rationality and emotions during this time of the month.

Conjecture

2009-09-29T06:19:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I have the faintest idea.
It just seem wrong to me.
Hope my intuition has failed me this time.
It's developing the wrong way. from wat i reckon.

<3
-pRiS-

Priority

2009-09-27T05:56:00.000-07:00

Seasons Change, God never does.

How could I possibly forgot my priority?
I should have remember this all the while,
Thank God that He once again reminded me about that.
Thanks for loving me even when I'm being unlovable as always.

<3
-pRiS-

Feelings

2009-09-25T00:40:00.000-07:00

Feelings,
what are they?
One that intricate the way you make decisions?

Feelings,
how credible are they?
How far can we trust?

Feelings change.
Will our decision differ if our feelings alter en route?
How far then will it determined our destiny?

What if we feel we should do this and indeed we should have done the other?
When we feel something is right, are we really right?
Or was it just our feeling at that moment?

Are we putting ourselves in jeopardy if we flow totally with our feelings?
They aren't akin to common sense, are they?

Oh, feelings,
elated, moody, excited, bored, love, hatred........................
if we just make a itsy-bitsy conversion,
things will be different, wouldn't they?

Just like
anger can kill,
hatred can curse,
excitement can make us fall in love and
agape which can be such selfless, so incompatible from others.

Feelings,
can never be separated from us,
even when we feel numb,
it is still a feeling.

We can’t be separated from feelings,
Can we?
It’s either we feel this or that.
Its either we follow the obliged ones or the rebellious ones.
How true is all these?
I don’t have the tiniest clue.
______________________________________________

It's just a random thought for me to make a random post. i'm not sure how true is all these nor it is biblical. just to make you think abit. uh huh. if you are reading it. =P anyway, officially having my last break for foundation year. how time passes so quickly. i'm glad it's a significant year.

later,
<3
-pRiS-

ps: i believe that if we just depend on feelings solely, everything wouldn't last.

a significant one

2009-09-20T20:09:00.000-07:00

Cool and chilly wind dwindles away under the effulgent sun

A tinge of loathness to relinquish the nigh end of September

The time we possess is merely as long as a glimpse of twilight.

Later in life, these will be the reminiscence of ours,

which dawn the smile on our face and tears in our eyes.

How time flies without our consent,
let’s just grasp hold of what we have in the mean time,
to pursue a better future.
Y'all will always be in my mind,
as I recall these good o’ times.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Since today’s date is special and it’s once in a lifetime, I decided to commence my first entry and dedicate the theme to mua college close friends in Adelaide. =)

<3
-pRiS-

ps: check out the date and time! (200920092009)
pss: we dont have a decent, proper picture with everyone in it!
psss: thank you for making this possible. =)
pssss: exact 3 years & 4 months. =)

It speaks through my heart

2009-09-15T06:44:00.000-07:00

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 19:11

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33