NEW**

new things are always challenging just because its an unknown;
but not all new things you will be able to face with excitement.
& this is one of them.
i might have regret what i chose now because i'm leaving my comfort zone;
 but i'm going to stick to it and see what happens,
just because there isnt a way for me to back out,
 or at least not one that will not cause damage to things/people around me.
Its time to get on my own feet and start the journey.
God please be with me and not forsake me,
I know You wouldn't.
Amen.

Really,

is this for good?

I dont know.

It's complicated.

A Dream Coming True

I've once said that I want to travel around Europe when I turn 21, and it remained something I talked about for 2-3 years. The subject came up in conversations but there wasn't any plan.

TODAY, i'm on exchange in Birmingham, traveled many cities around Britain, crossed country to Ireland and finally, have a first draft of plan to travel to a few Europe countries. My (and my friend's) plan may not be the perfect or cheapest route to go around, or i could have gone to more countries; but I'm glad to say that Thank you God for blessing me and giving me this opportunity to explore around and expand my horizons.

We've come out with a rough plan, going to a 4 countries and 9 cities in 23 days. I'm excited even though we've only booked our one way ticket that kick start our journey. The first time that I'll be backpacking and travelling without having a host at the places i'm going to go. This is exciting yet slightly intimidating/overwhelming. There are so many preparations to do. We still have to make adjustments/amendments according to the other group members and finalizing itinerary so that we can book our transportation. Afterwards there'll still be accommodation hunting and researching on places that we are going. As fun or as adventurous as it sounds, this isn't going to be the easiest thing to do.

But I pray that God will watch over us and protect us against all harms (physically and mentally), allow us to get along well, and pray that I may be a testimony for those I'm travelling with. I pray that God wisdom will be with us to go against all odds that may come in our way.

This is exciting! But right now, I'm going to keep this aside and prepare for another journey, which is going to start on Monday!

Thank you God. Thank you mum & dad (even though i know you won't see this).

A Reminder

A Note to Self:

Jeremy Lin Testimony [Part 1]

Jeremy Lin Testimony [Part 2]

I'm twenty-one. All these possibilities around me excites me, but also pressured me. I feel like I want to do so many things. but where do I put God now. I need to be reminded God has been so faithful in my life. He needs to be my centre. I think I know the direction I want to head, if I'm wrong, God, please help me to realise it sooner and correct me. If I'm right, God, please set my heart right and open doors for me like you always do.

In Jesus's name,

Amen.

pris

F.R.I.E.N.D.

What kind of friend i am? I feel so irritate with myself for expecting things from people around me. I need to learn how to stop expecting. stop justifying what i do is right. It might be right in my point of view, but others might not see eye in eye with me. I just wish I can be more "flexible" in the sense that i dont rigid things to go only one way. It's for sure tiring when i try to accommodate the reaction of the rest in one event. and frustrating at times too. I'm not even talking about deep stuff like our point of views in life, its just friends keeping the promise they make, like sticking to a dinner plan, or not being half an hour late. SIGH.

I remember a friend once told me he didn't want to reach to a point where he stop expecting others. I vaguely remember that particular conversation, but yea, i can feel what he felt right now. Mind you, this is not the first time. I've been agitated by this recurring feeling almost my whole life. so i don't think it's the people around me, it's me who needs to change, and not expect. Or perhaps, i haven't been close to this kind of people. I guess i need to be one in order to meet one.

I know i'm not the most punctual or the most reliable person on earth, but i know when i need to. i hope i havent make some of you feel this way. If i do, i'm truly sorry. I'll try my best to be good from now. If i'm not showing up, i'll tell you.

NTS: patience patience patience.. i'm imperfect myself, thank you for everyone who still loves me. thank you God for loving me.

Frustration over Emotion

I seriously dislike myself being so overpowered by my emotions.
I feel weak-and-needy.

iwannarunaway.mayberunintoyourarms.

God, please help me. :(

When you grow weary, you stop, you reflect, you wish...

When life is moving at the speed of light, there's so much i want to achieve, so much i want to try. 

But sometimes, a hug, a shoulder or just a cuddle will make my day.

Of course, massage will definitely be a good option. :)

cheers,

pris

Hidden

There's this struggle in me
that i don't know how to express;
there's this feeling in me
that i don't know how to surpress.

What have i done or not done?
What is the right choice?
or is there none?

Afraid of the results,
stepping back with a celerity.
Will you be taken aback
when you are cognizant of who i really am?

It's the season of uncertainty,
hovering with anciety.

pris

Clinging on

As much as I would love to meet new people and encounter new experiences,
a part of me doesn't want to let go of the past,
doesn't want to move on,
and clinging on ...
to the memories that people have given me.
The same memories that will continue ...
Alas, individuals have different interests.

Time to learn how to move on.

pris

maybe

i'm asking too much.

maybe,

i dont deserve them all.

maybe,

it'll be over for good.

maybe,

just maybe.